By Danielle Clark, @ddaniellee11
Men have some preconceived ideas about women. Where did this notion that all women eat like birds come from? And have we still not gotten past the kitchen jokes? It’s 2013. Think of a new line, guys. And don’t keep it to the bro circle either. Men think that women won’t get their jokes. Girls have a sense of humor too. And who said all women want a long-term relationship straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel? Guys need to relearn who women really are.
1. Women love eating salads–and only salads
Many men think their stomachs are an order of magnitude larger than women’s. They refuse to believe women can pack away Domino’s takeout as well as guys can. Guys will order a pizza for each of them—and one for six girls to share. What the hell kind of math is that? I can scarf down a surprisingly large amount of food and still go back hungry for seconds. Trust me. It happens more than you’d think.
2. Being female bestows automatic housewife status
Men have some idealistic belief that all women not only know how to, but have a love for cleaning, cooking and all things Martha Stewart. What’s the point of making my bed every morning if I’m just going to get back in it two hours later to take a nap? My house has red Solo cups under the couches and has a perpetual scent of Busch Light—don’t expect Martha’s cooking show to be on my DVR playlist.
3. All women seek love and mushy-gushy relationships
Just because I’ve seen The Notebook and maybe memorized a few quotes (OK, every word) doesn’t mean I want to run away and elope with the next guy I date. Nor does it mean I’m some hopeless romantic looking for a “good morning, beautiful” text every day and flowers on every “month-a-versary.” Not acting like a complete asshole is one thing—sending constant text updates of your favorite things about me will have you out the door quicker than you can choose your next emoticon. And I’ll bet I’m not alone on that one.
4. Women were born without a sense of humor
A woman won’t laugh at a man’s joke because the joke isn’t funny—not because she’s a woman. Comedy has nothing to do with gender. Stop reserving your jokes for the guys, because it’s belittling to women. If you can’t joke around with a woman, that’s your own fault. Men aren’t the only ones with a sense of humor. Cue Tina Fey, Ellen DeGeneres, Amy Poehler…etc.
Men need to stop generalizing about women and abandon these unrealistic gender perceptions. Until then, I’ll be in my unmade bed eating a large Domino’s pizza straight from the box, not texting back a one-night-stander, and watching Lisa Lampanelli standups on Hulu.